Is It Possible To Be Too Generous At Work?
This post was originally titled, "Generosity: The Silent Killer."
This title makes me laugh and laugh.
Because it's RIDICULOUS, right? Right?!
How can generosity be bad?
Well, let me tell you, sister...
First, a quick career quiz:
When was the last time you were generous with others?
When was the last time you were generous with yourself?
We tend to think of generosity as giving to others--time, gifts, money, even empathy. Yet we're so stingy with ourselves...
We don't dare ask for the help and support we lavish on others.
We brush off compliments.
We fail to set (or maintain) boundaries because we place the organization's goals ahead of our own.
We work through vacations--or even delay leaving for good--because we feel guilty about the impact on the team.
We put the kids, the spouse, the team, the deadline, the cause, and probably the dog before ourselves.
We push generosity away in all its forms, constantly ceding our personal and professional wants and needs.
Somewhere along the line, we got the impression that generosity to others is noble and good...and generosity to ourselves is greedy and selfish.
True generosity is a two-way street, a balance of give and take. Otherwise, it's not sustainable.
When we give, give, give without ever receiving, soon there's nothing left. Then we're surprised when we end up in a career that doesn't fulfill us, surrounded by people who don't appreciate us, at the bottom of a giant hole filled with resentment.
One-way generosity is a career killer. And a ticket to burnout and unhappiness.
According to Merriam-Webster, the second definition of generosity is "the quality or fact of being plentiful or large." Generosity is about abundance, bounty, plenty.
When we're truly generous, there is enough for EVERYONE, including ourselves. When we give to ourselves as copiously as we give to others, it doesn't take away from anyone else; it actually creates more.
Just like a bank account, you need to have a balance in order to make withdrawals. And the higher your balance, suddenly the more you have to spend on others.
Rather than trying (and failing) to balance work and life, let's balance give and take.
The career you want revolves around give AND take. Yes, you need to provide value. Yes, you need to give without expectation. But you also need to allow others to help you get what you want. You need to replenish your energy. You need to take credit where it's freakin' due.
It's not selfish or greedy to want more in your career; it's generous.
It starts with being generous to yourself. It's as much about what you let in as what you give out.
Now I invoke Megan Rapinoe, since I’m desperate to share the result of my many hours logged on social media gathering backstory and random facts about the US women’s national soccer team.
Rapinoe was asked a puff question about who has the worst goal celebration, and Rapinoe responded with astonishment at people who didn’t bask in the glory of the moment, "When I score, I'm like, 'Give it to me.' This is your moment to shine. This is literally what the game is all about." She closed her eyes and smiled as she spoke, soaking up the love.
This is generosity. Her celebration takes nothing away from the team. In fact, it only adds to the collective. She wins. Her teammates win. The fans win. Women win. Everyone wins.
Your turn. What would happen in your career and life if you turned your generosity on yourself? Share your comments below.
It's literally what the game is all about.
Author Bio:
Before becoming a coach, Caroline worked in management consulting and financial services. She's made it her mission to help people grow, contribute, and get wherever they want to go.
She’s also a tennis fanatic, aspiring Minimalist, FIRE (Financial Independence and Retire Early) enthusiast, and Aloha Spirit seeker 🤙. She loves to share stories from her unconventional life and career focused on freedom, creativity, fun, health, family, and community. If she can do it, you can, too.
The life and career you want is possible once you have the roadmap. Take the first step by downloading her free guide: 4 steps to take back your life and design a career with purpose.
The traditional job search is biased and broken. Here's what Katie did instead—and the $20k/month opportunity that followed.
Are you talking yourself out of your best career idea because you're not sure how to monetize it? How one reframe changed everything for my client.
Are you stuck in your career and questioning everything? Struggling to find a career with meaning and impact? Here’s how to find your life’s purpose.
Two of the biggest MYTHS about career change: "I'll have to start over," and "I'll need to take a pay cut." Please don't do either. Here’s how to change careers without starting over.
Know your current career isn’t working but not sure what you want to do INSTEAD? How to get CLARITY now.
Most "recommended" INFJ careers miss the mark or lead straight to burnout. INFJs have a rare, valuable set of skills the workplace desperately needs—here's how to find a career that fits you.
Hate talking about your accomplishments and contributions? Here’s how to talk about yourself without bragging, so you can get the career opportunities you want.
Do you catch yourself holding back—editing your words or shrinking your presence so you don’t outshine others? Here’s why we dim our light…and what changes when you stop.
Worried a career change won’t work for you? Here’s the career change mindset high achievers share — and the 3 beliefs that make real change possible.
If you’re exhausted, stuck, and quietly terrified of continuing down this path for another 10–20 years, a career sabbatical may be the reset you’re looking for.
In this free 45-minute workshop, I show you how to create real clarity and momentum now (like today—like during the workshop)—so you can start fresh without starting over.
Coach Caroline answers your career change frequently asked questions, helping you pivot with clarity, confidence & purpose.
Do you have the right strategy to get where you want to go in your career? Take this career change quiz to find out.
What is money mindset and how does it influence your career decisions? Your money beliefs impact much more than your income.
Are you an INTJ contemplating your next career move? Wondering what INTJ careers are best suited to your personality? Let me be your INTJ career guide—from one INTJ to another.
Try this easy money mindset tip to clearly communicate the value you bring to the table.
Struggling to trust your intuition? Have difficulty differentiating between intuition and fear? Learn to trust your intuition with career decisions.
Working with a career transition coach can be one of the best moves to make for anyone looking to grow professionally or make a change. Here’s how they can help.
Quitting your corporate job is a big decision. Here’s everything you need to know before you take the leap.
The quickest path to the best ENFJ careers isn’t about picking from a list of job titles. This guide explores how to design a career that fits your strengths by focusing on the environments, cultures, and roles where ENFJs do their best work.
Is the talk of looming recessions, mass layoffs, and “economic headwinds” making you second-guess your job security? And whether now is the best time to make a career move?
85% of workers describe themselves as “disengaged” from their jobs. Yet so many of these 85% choose to stay in a job they hate because of the paycheck. Here's what to consider if you're not one of the lucky 15%.
Want to make a real impact but feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of the challenge? How to be a change agent without exhausting yourself.