The Upside of Anger
I LOVE when my coaching clients get ANGRY. Let me explain...
We're taught that there are "positive" and "negative" emotions, and that anger is a "bad" one, especially in the workplace.
Not true.
Like all emotions, anger is a clue.
It’s a bright red flashing check engine light telling us something is very, very wrong.
Listening to it is a critical step in going after MORE in your career.
The Upside of Anger
Turns out, there’s an upside to anger. Several, in fact:
😤 Anger can be a catalyst for change: that moment when you say, "No more!" When you decide not to settle. When you commit to fighting for what you want.
😤Anger helps us set boundaries. Bullies don’t respond to “Hey, let’s all work together to find a win-win.” They do respond to, “I’m not sure why you’re speaking to me like that.”
😤Anger gets us off the couch and into action. It can move us from feeling powerless about our circumstances and put us back in the driver’s seat.
😤Anger can help us OWN our gifts. Comparison can be a good thing! “If that yahoo can do it, so can I.”
😤It shifts our focus from allll the things we CAN'T control to what we CAN.
😤It's a signal that we're DOING too much in general or too many of the wrong things.
😤Anger can be a powerful tool for justice, for speaking truth, for lending our voice to others. Some of my proudest moments have been absolutely losing my sh*t for the right reasons.
😤 Anger can help us stop taking on allll the responsibility for everyone and everything around us and focus on ourselves.
Am I advocating that you tell everyone off? Of course not.
Am I suggesting you permanently marinate in anger? Nope.
I’m definitely not advocating violence of any kind.
I'm inviting you to get CURIOUS and FEEL what's really going on…
…Rather than trying to suppress it, click out of it, or try to put a positive spin on it.
Like saying, "It's cool, bro" when it's REALLY NOT COOL at all.
A key part of emotional intelligence is recognizing and honoring your emotions—yes, even the ones that don’t feel good—so you can process them and move forward.
Anger Is About Misalignment
When you're doing the work of three people, when leadership is focused on the wrong things, when your boss is a jerk, it’s normal to feel resentful, frustrated, angry, etc.
When you're feeling the constraints of a pandemic/climate change/student loans/healthcare woes/degradation of human rights, why YES, it's okay to be MAD.
Maybe you’re angry at yourself. Even more fun!
These are all clues that something is out of alignment with what you want.
Get curious.
If you're a thinker like me, it might help to think about emotions as data points:
What triggered this anger?
Was a boundary crossed?
Was one of your values threatened?
Where are you out of alignment with what’s important to you?
Then pause and consider how best to channel these feelings.
What We Continue To Get Wrong About Anger
We've been conditioned to "be professional," avoid conflict, quash dissension.
Hmmm, how might people in power benefit from keeping their workforce in line?! (Especially anyone daring to challenge the status quo.)
Let’s all agree to stop labeling normal, human, healthy feelings as "bad/negative."
Instead, I invite you to honor them and listen to what they’re telling you. Because there’s always an upside of anger.
Letting go of things—even those that aren’t serving us—is still a loss. If you’re having trouble moving forward, you may be grieving.
Grief often shows up in career change.
Check out Your Career and Grief to understand the signs and learn how to move forward.
Author Bio:
Before becoming a coach, Caroline had a successful career in management consulting and financial services. She's made it her mission to help people grow, contribute, and get wherever they want to go in their careers.
Caroline wants you to recognize how much power you have to define your career. Take the first step by downloading your free 4-step career roadmap.
