Setting Career Goals: The Case Against Setting Realistic Goals
Conventional wisdom tells us to be “realistic” when setting career goals. Today I explain how that often works against you—and make the case against setting realistic goals.
Like most conventional wisdom, setting “realistic” career goals is a trap that doesn’t hold up in the real world.
Too many people water their goals down in the name of “being realistic.”
So if you’re struggling to set realistic career goals…or are afraid your goals are unrealistic? Maybe that's a good thing.
Here's how to give your goals some STRETCH while keeping them within reach.
The Case Against Setting Realistic Goals
I find the word “realistic” so challenging, especially when setting career goals.
Because it’s presented in a way that sounds like it's really measurable, precise, and objective…when it's actually subjective and imprecise.
Who gets to decide what's “realistic?” What does that word even mean?
Define “Realistic” For Yourself
Seriously, I invite you to get curious about how you’re using that word.
Because in my coaching sessions, what people truly want often gets muddled with what feels possible.
Do you think the following are unrealistic or realistic?
Expecting to be paid well AND work healthy hours
Wanting to enjoy your work most days
Having time during the work day to think and strategize
Being surrounded with people you like and respect (and vice versa)
These are very simple, very REALISTIC desires.
So many people are so unhappy at work, surrounded by so many other people who are unhappy at work, we begin to look at the most basic and most realistic requests as “unrealistic.”
We’re so trained in trade-off thinking—the idea that you can’t possibly have multiple things, that you must have to sacrifice money OR time outside of work OR creative license.
You can’t possibly have all that, right?! Right?!
Wrong.
The Danger Of Setting Career Goals You Know You Can Meet
The power of setting career goals in the first place is not to create something that you know that you can hit with zero risk of failure.
I’d argue that's not even a goal—that's a to-do list item.
If you’re like the people that work with me, you want to grow and learn and stretch, right?
You want to be challenged. You’re done with being bored and underutilized and feeling like your brain cells are dying.
If that’s the case, you’re in for a treat!
A goal is something that stretches you…Where there's a question, “Oh gosh that sounds really awesome. I'd love to achieve that. Oh, it's going to be tough. I'm gonna have to think differently. I’m gonna have to do something differently. I have to get out of my comfort zone.”
There's a pulling forward. Because on the other side of that goal is something you really want.
Do you feel how different that feels versus setting career goals you know you can hit with your eyes closed?
Do you feel how the term “realistic” can keep you playing small and safe?
It’s the difference between playing to WIN and playing NOT TO LOSE.
Just Because It’s Nebulous Doesn’t Mean It’s Unrealistic
One of the things I do with some of my one-on-one coaching clients is to set 30, 60, and 90-day goals.
I did this the other day with a client. She set these beautiful 30-day goals. She went big.
I said, “Wow, I was happily surprised at how easily those goals flowed out of you.”
Of course, at the end of our call she started second-guessing herself, thinking it couldn’t be that easy.
She said, “I don't know if these are realistic...”
But she kept them.
And, I kid you not, the very next day she Whatsapp’d me and said, “I was in a networking conversation, and I think I got clarity.”
So one day after setting a beautifully bold goal, she took one action, and she got the clarity she was looking for.
Isn’t that interesting how we ASSUME that something like “clarity” or a big, nebulous goal needs to be a lot of work or take a ton of time?
Just because you can’t immediately see the path to the result you want with 100% clarity, doesn’t mean it’s unrealistic. It just means you need to get clear on the path.
I’m not suggesting that all your 30-day goals are going to instantly fall into place with one action.
The point of this example is to show how setting career goals that feel “unrealistic” are often quite achievable.
And the only way to know is to get into action.
She wouldn't have gotten that result had she not set the bold goal in the first place—the one where she was thinking, “I don't know…this doesn't feel realistic…but this is what I REALLY want.”
That’s the beauty of setting career goals that are unrealistic.
“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.
Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”
― Gloria Steinem
What’s the Worst That Can Happen?
I have a friend who’s really feeling her value right now and is looking for another job that meets her potential for income, influence, and impact.
Her friend made her set a calendar milestone that in six weeks she'd be in a new job.
My friend was like, “Oh that sounds fast. Maybe too fast. I don't know how realistic that is.”
And as we were talking she was like, “You know what? What's to say that's not realistic? Why not go for it?”
Because she realized: What's the worst that can happen??
The absolute WORST case scenario is that in six weeks she won't be in that new job.
That's the worst thing.
The best thing is that she COULD be in that new job.
The middle ground is that will have made progress she otherwise wouldn’t make—let's say it takes her 8, 10, even 12 weeks.
I’ll tell you this: once she’s in that new dream role, she’s not going to care if it took her 6 weeks or 6 months.
She’s going to be soaking up her new role and celebrating the fact that she made it happen so quickly—rather than resigning herself to a months-long slog.
All because she was okay being a bit “unrealistic” when setting career goals.
The Power Of Setting Career Goals That Are “Unrealistic”
Let's talk about the flip side.
What would happen if my friend didn't have the courage to set that unrealistic goal at all?
What if she set a goal that FELT more “realistic,” like 6 months or “in the new year?”
Best case, it almost certainly would take at least 6 months.
Worst case, it would stay as a dream, a wish, a “someday maybe.”
Do you see how “realistic” here would have been an excuse for fear and inaction?
That's the risk we run when we try to keep things “realistic” and “doable.”
There is magic (yes, magic) that happens in that gap between that “unrealistic” goal and who that calls on us to be. And how we lead in that space.
Thus concludes the case against setting realistic goals.
As you consider setting career goals, I invite you to ask yourself what's an “unrealistic” goal you’re ready to go after? Share it below.
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Author Bio:
Before becoming a coach, Caroline worked in management consulting and financial services. She's made it her mission to help people grow, contribute, and get wherever they want to go.
She’s also a tennis fanatic, aspiring Minimalist, FIRE (Financial Independence and Retire Early) enthusiast, and Aloha Spirit seeker 🤙. She loves to share stories from her unconventional life and career focused on freedom, creativity, fun, health, family, and community. If she can do it, you can, too.
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